This totally cracked me up.
So did this.
Can someone explain what this is?
Yes, it’s a thread on a message board. But that’s not important right now …
YES! Perfect.
Bungee jumping and sky diving
I guess you can try it, but most experienced skydivers prefer parachutes.
My mint plantation has been clear cut
Is that what they call a Brazillian wax?
testy
one-y, two-y. . .
Dog Farms
Yep, I got 600 acres of Airedale
wishing death on Ctrl+W
Another damn undocumented feature in Windows
Did Katherine Harris get…uhh…enahnced?
Every day I thank God for the spirited discussion of vital issues we find in Great Debates.
what are the dangers of spontaneous ignition when storing “fatwood”? The dangerous of spontaneous combustion? Well, first of all, you could burn your house down…
Selling FOOD on flights. WHAT?
What “WHAT?” Selling barf bags on flights would be more like “WHAT?”
Share Your Weird-Ass Dream
That’s one misplaced comma away from TMI.
How did you learn to type?
Wehuqbhiadbuil3;79P38 n0=\
I miss lunchboxes
I mister thermos flasks.
**The international candy exchange **
What’s “international candy”?
Is There American Cheese in Europe?
There’s an American Werewolf in London, does that help?
"Diamond Jim" Brady: How Could Someone Eat that Much?
I like him, but couldn’t eat a whole one.
Cold War Secrets
Shhhhhhh!
Can US win Vietnam war ?
Yes, with one last-ditch attempt.
Motorcycle attire.
Well, mine has the cutest little shawl.
Men are attracted to lesbians, but women are not attracted to gay men…how come?
How come? Vigourously.
Big Brother: 8/11
I’d say closer to 3/10.
I am Straight but I can’t help noticing…
…that you’re not.
F*ck stores that rearrange themselves!
I also prefer my F*ck stores to retain their original layout.
When will ABC’s lovefest over Peter Jennings end?
When we pry his cold dead body out of their hands.
Cheaper to turn A/C to 85 degrees during day?
Cheaper than what?
Why do my shoes come untied only once per day, in the morning?
Because it’s hard to put them on when they’re tied?
Are there any honest televangelists out there?
The answer to this and many other pressing matters of faith can be yours for just three easy faith pledges of $14.95! Hurry, our telephonic interaction ministers are standing by with your salvation!
Bathroom Situation at Work; Your Advice, Please (Will Contain TMI)
I advise everyone not to read this thread.
Ever diagnose a character with a mental illness?
No, I can only do that when I don’t have a mental illness.
Cecil’s sentence
Come on, give the guy a break. She sure looked a lot older than fifteen.
New Levels of Klutziness
Quick, hold this rare insured-for-$50,000 urn for me.
Birthday gift ideas.
I don’t know. Is it possible to buy a clue?
**If we should love our enemy, should we love even Satan? ** Yes, but wear a condom.
“Satan, your ass is *big * and red. Who do you think I’m thinking of - Liza Minelli?”
New questions in GQ:
**Is it illegal to simply carry around a gun? **
Yes. You’re required to carry them in a complicated way.
**Albino cricket = proof of evolution? **
What do pasty-skinned Brits playing a nonsensical sport have to do with evolution? 
**Long-range sniper question (where to aim?) **
Far away.
**Why do hybrid or electric cars have wheel ‘pants’? **
So they won’t be naked and get laughed at by Lincoln Town Cars.
**Is a 22 caliber bullet untraceable? **
Just get a pencil and a piece of paper. Duh.
**What Accounts For The Existence Of Dentists **
Well, first there’s this sperm and this egg…
**Why do some Jews rock back and forth during prayer? **
You must not have noticed their iPods.
Toronto Dopers–where should I stay?
Right where you are!
**What would living on a toroid planet be like? **
Non-stop sex. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you said a torrid planet.
**Why aren’t the baseball divisions even? **
They aren’t? That’s odd.
From IMHO:
**Am I doing my son/kids a disservice by not buying them an Xbox? **
No, you’re doing them a disservice by not buying ME an Xbox.
**Racoon Eyes? **
Yes, Aardvark Nose?
**How do I dress to look older? **
Wear purple. With a red hat.
**Space Shuttle: why not use a net? **
Because the dolphins would get caught in it, too.