Oooh me, me! 
pepperlandgirl: I would never get involved with anyone I met on the internet.
pepperlandgirl – Fuck the beatles.
Cute, Brian
What, nothing from Cecil?
neuro-trash grrrl: Mr. C, I’ve decided to go het for you.
Satan: Mr. C, I’ve decided to go gay for you.
techchick68: Get the beer away from me, I want WATER!
Ayesha: OK who wants to do me ? (wait a sec, strike that one.)
Omniscient: You know, I haven’t the foggiest. Maybe you should ask someone else?
Coldfire: It’s SOCCER, and don’t you forget it! And for the record, American Football is the best sport in the world.
Eutychus55: My nude calendar comes out next week, I’m taking orders now.
Drain Bead: A/S/L?
Awwwww, thanks vanilla! I was starting to feel left out.
Doctor Jackson: I guess I just don’t see how that’s funny.
aenea: Silo, I love you man!
Alphagene: C’mon, who wants a group hug?
Shayna: Y’know, maybe if we were just a bit nicer to the trolls, they’d stop.
Falcon: God, I hate ChiefScott!
UncleBeer: Wow! FreakFreely, You’ve opened my eyes! We do need more welfare!
Homer: Hmmm, on second thought, maybe I shouldn’t do that.
troll13: Why am I doing this when I could do some useful?
Chiefscott: I love you guys.
Me: I don’t have anything to say about this.
Silo, Vandal, ROFLMAO.
=)
Great stuff! (And thanks, Milo!)
Ukelele Ike: I secretly yearn to move to Oklahoma, get away from all this glitzy New Yawk crap, and eat chicken fried steak.
Southern Style: The North was right, and these luscious belles down here are too high maintenance.
elelle: Look, who gives a whoop about your dreary little issues? Scram, kid, you’re boring me.
UncleBeer: Look, Hillary and Rosie are right! There is no good reason to own a gun!
Android: I’m staying for 2 reasons: American football and watery American beer!
Ayesha: You!..you!..why, I just can’t think of any way to describe how awful and icky you are!
BjOrn: Writing clearly is the surest way to communicate. After all, it’s impossible to intuit real meanings, right?
Eve: Great news, darlings! I’m registered for an Outward Bound spelunking vacation!
Veb
DavidB: What, the Bible says that? Okay, I’ll shut up then.
Gaudere: You guys, I heard this story about gang initiations, so don’t ever flash your headlights at someone!
Satan: I’m sorry, you people are just too weird for me. I’m going to go read Chicken Soup for the Doper’s Soul.
Ayesha: Oh, you guys are so mean! I’m going to throw a big hissy fit and leave, and then you’ll be sorry!
bjorn: As good grammar, correct spelling, proper punctuation and a clear writing style are crucial to communicating effectively, I will make every effort to ensure that my writing conforms to the standards of the board.
ChiefScott: Flirt? No, I’m just not into that kind of thing. Well, maybe if Brithael showed up.
Krispy Original: You know, I really prefer to have solid evidence to examine before coming to any conclusion about a controversial topic.
MarkSerlin: I dig fat chicks.
Damn you, FF.
COL! (Chuckling Out Loud)
Here’s some more:
aenea: Anything I say on here I’d never say to anyone IRL.
Omniscient: My bum’s off limits.
handy: I wish my post count was smaller.
Mr. Cynical: Silo is the newest addition to my laminated list.
neuro-trash grrrl: Silo, you’ve done it! you’ve convinced me to switch teams.
Coldfire: Rush sucks!
Silo:Golly, I am glad I started that Michael Masterson persona. Its made me wildly popular at all the doper gatherings.
Satan:Gee, I just wish my girlfriend were a little bit more blonde.
GaWd:Man, I they wouldn’t play their radio so loud. I am trying to listen to my “Sounds of the Forest” CD.
Lexicon:I don’t know that word.
Alphagene:MPSIMS is like Peanut Butter and Honey. Yummy Yummy in my little tummy.
Seadiver:Tequila is nasty. I just like a cup of tea and a quiet evening at home.
UncleBeer:Please come to my home. I will have tofu burgers and Near Beer. Its a rally for the Al Gore Campaign.
Jophiel:JvO ain’t that Hot.
JohnnyLA:I need a tan, bad. I think I am gonna go lay out for a few hours.
OatWillie:I feel so at home here.
MrCynical:After careful consideration I have decided to join an order of Monks who forgo all physical pleasure. Yes, I mean all of them.
Doobieous:I have replaced all of my palm trees with a garden of marijuana plants. I need to stay smoked up for the next 7 years or so.
Spiritus Mundi:Excuse me, I have to go. I didn’t realize there would be alcohol at this party. I am going to go home and pray for your eternal souls. ::Makes sign of cross::
pldennison:Hot Dog! My McDonalds stock just rose four points. Now I can get that White Sox jersey.
Tengu: Don’t trust anyone under 25, they are just too immature.
Zulu:Its a midget, Damnit!
bigred1:I don’t know. Flying in an airplane seems slightly dangerous.
Arnold Winkelried:Fry em all, and let God decide.
pat
You left yourself this wide open on this board?- I do, I DO!
beakerxf: Actually, Santa Ana was the REAL hero of the Alamo.
CKDexthaven: The Talmud has nothing to say on this subject.
zev: Here, let me quote from the Gospels…
Purplebear: Let’s stop all this flirting and get serious.
Monty: I consider all that stuff about Joseph Smith and the golden plates to be pure myth.
capacitor: The scientific evidence has convinced me- Evolution is a valid theory.
Any Moderator: You know, Daniel, you’re right- we should do it like this…
Diane: I’ve decided to shave my head & join a nunnery.
Falcon: Another Dopefest?? Forget it! I’m tired of Dopefests. I’m never going to another one the rest of my life!
Satan: You think we fight ignorance here; we’re small potatoes. We don’t hold a candle to the LBMB!
Drain Bead: My goal is to make partner with a major corporate law firm, and I’ll put in all the 20-hour days it takes to get there!
Silo: I wish the SD women would stop flirting with me!
Snark: Maybe I have some unresolved issues I need to deal with.
Libertarian: I’ve observed that hardly anyone IRL is particularly peaceful or honest.
MagicalSilverKey: I can’t believe people would discuss masturbation on a message board. How disgusting!
pldennison: The Star Wars movies bore me to tears.
Peta Tzunami: The best part of moving to the South is being able to get good barbecue.
phouka: just hooted, honked and nearly fell off the chair laughing over Satan and Chicken Soup for the Dopers soul…
This is addictive; let’s see if I can do it w/o screwing up the bolding this time.
Eutychus: You know, I really admire Disney as a corporation and a cultural icon. Think I’ll invest my SD salary in Disney stock.
Arnold Winklereid: Actually, my nick has nothing to do with Switzerland. It’s Finnish for “Eutychus”.
GuanoLad: Y’know, getting shitfaced drunk and ruthlessly screwing everything in sight would be a better way to live!
aha: Actually I’m not a funky, funny former rock star. I’m an inhibited, agoraphobic accordianist who plays along w/ Lawrence Welk records. And forget bubbly; I throw up from Bosco.
Cecil Adams: Shit, hope these putzes never figure out I’m main stringer for “The Globe”.
Veb
Good one Pat…
Let’s add to that, why don’t we?
GaWd- I wish I was a haughty virgin again!
-Sam
London_Calling: I’m thinking about trading in my Clash albums for the new Backstreet Boys CD.
Falcon: I just got back from the Norfolk Dopefest and the pictures are up in less than a half day!!
I’m gonna pay for that.
I was waiting for perpperlandgirl to do me, but I’ll just have to do myself for now: 
Anthracite: Solar good! Coal bad!
Geez, Chief. I like you personally, and I have the highest respect for the Navy. But heck, you only have one aircraft carrier at your disposal. That’s no defense against the fury you just created. I mentioned in another thread that I was bummed that I tossed my iodine pills, but that was because I thought you might be the source, not the target, of nuclear attack. Lemme know whether you’re on Gulf side or Med side so I can warn my friends.
I too have to do myself, since I’m too new.
Cranky: “I don’t really have anything useful to contribute to this thread, so I’ll just not post.”