Not to confound those who can’t grasp a FWB any further, but M_G, I can say there are people who have spent the night in my house without me having sex with them.
It is possible that he is telling the truth, especially since I note that ‘ladies’ is pluralized.
Just a thought… but then again - tough call!
[sub]Cecil will never die… he’ll just go senile! :o[/sub]
Well, it’s POSSIBLE they didn’t do the deed. I’ve done the exact scenario described here with no boom-boom. Does he have a history of lying? Maybe not to you, but with other people?
None of my business …
… but these “ladies of questionable repute” with whom he was “previously unacquainted”…
Does this mean that your fella was a devilishly accomplished Don Juan, and managed to pick up a couple of chicas for the night - or are you suggesting this was a … ahem… business transaction?
Again, please fell free to ignore - none of my business.
No argument here. I actually agree with most of your statements.
However, I personally will wait for M_G to mention more of her emotional state before I assume in that regard. As this is a message board, I tend to feel it’s hard to know exactly what a person is thinking via posts most of the time.
Okay, again, no problem with your point of view. It has seemed to me, and I will admit to reading your statement in a way it was not intended if that was the case, that your comments that have started this discussion were ‘fact’, not ‘opinion’. Thus, I felt it fair to argue. You have since cleared that up with many frustrated looking ‘IN MY OPINIONS’ so I understand your point of view very clearly, no need to be caps at me again…
Not exactly, but I thought opinion presented as fact was okay to be argued against and at your post, as you know, you seemed to me to be presenting fact. I didn’t think it fair to Might Girl to have several of your comments stand unchallenged as they were not all true. There have been healthy relationships of that type, it was not bound to fail and it was not ‘unsatisfactory’ TO HER during the relationship.
I understand your point of view. However, I feel my point of view is not ‘bullshit’. There are many forms of living life, loving and having relationships with others. I haven’t been around the block quite as long as you …but I am not ready to discount other types of relationships so readily. shrugs
Okay, I apologize again for misinterpreting your statements as statements of fact and truth.
What?? I never meant to imply that YOU were a homophobe? I’m very confused as to how you took the story I presented this way. It was merely to detail ‘how the situation with several posters here reminded me of what has happened in certain other threads’ NOT ‘several posters are homophobes’. You are reading more accusations into my story than was intended or actually there. I should have perhaps put an explanation, but it never occurred to me that you would think I was trying to imply YOU were a homophobe?
Live and learn. 
No you weren’t, nor did I mean to imply YOU were. There were several here who have. I was trying to share my point of view as to THOSE posters WITH YOU by bringing up a story to show this in a different light. Not ‘they are homophobes’, not ‘you are a homophobe’, just people jumping into threads to preach without thought as to what pain may be in the thread already.
I was trying to show you why several of the ‘you deserve what you get for your horrible actions’ posts ‘rubbed’ me wrong. That is how I view it…some posters coming into this discussion to merely condemn her because of her life choice, not the topic of the post (the lying between friends who are having a sexual relationship). It seemed some people were offended by her life choice that the betrayal of a friend was ‘deserved’.
I brought the homosexual analogy to show that this has happened in other sexual areas, condemning without thought to the situation involved. Not to say ‘You blowero’ are doing that. I think you have grievously and purposely misunderstood me.
I am sorry that I have offended you. As I stated my story was not to condemn anyone, just to show ‘this is what this reminds me of’. I will tread more carefully in the future, you can be sure of that.
is now shaking after reading the outright hostility in his post
As an addition, I see now why blowero has assumed I was speaking of his posts alone. I said: ‘Perhaps I should explain why I am arguing against some of the judgments here with a little story’. That was not clear enough as to it being story to emphasis a similar situation (thus the assumptiong htat I thought those here are homophobes, which is not true), and it also seems to state that I was specifically speaking about blowero, which I was not. As I have said before, I will be more careful in the future and try very hard not to type sentances which can be so easily assumed to be labeling someone in such a horrendous way. I apologizie very much to any who thought I was saying that.
So, this is your “smoking gun”? Are referring to these women as prostitutes or are you calling them “loose” women that have been known to give it up easy? How do you know he shagged them, or even one of them?
Anyone else get the feeling that we’re going around in circles? Because I’m spinning like a top after reading the last couple of pages.
What started as a rant on a broken promise has turned into a discussion of the ethics of sex outside of marriage. And I doubt the Sinners and the Righteous are going to agree on that anytime soon. Just glad burning us at the stake is no longer in fashion. Or is it? Don’t keep up with Moral Dogma From Up High like I used to – in fact, I’ve been making my own for quite some time.
Oh, and Mighty_Girl? While I agree with the overall basis of your complaint/rant and have said as much, I still think that trying to limit the feelings that go into a relationship, any relationship, beforehand, in order to control the amount of pain that you subject yourself to, just doesn’t work. And that goes for friends, lovers, family and anyone else you have any meaningful contact with.
In my eyes, that is really the lesson to be gleaned from all of this. An addendum to your contract if you will: “We’ll see where this all leads”
To quote a famous Dominican pitcher, Joaquin Andujar: “You never know.”
EasyPhil I guess it would have been easy to tell now that I don’t call women “loose” for sleeping with whoever they want to. Yes, the Incident happened in the ladies’ “working hours”. So to speak.
RedFury I get your point, but I think you’ve misread me, or missed the point where I said that I just didn’t fall in love with him, and that it could have been a possibility that fortunately never materialized. I am not the kind who JUST “falls” in love, it is more like love sneaks on me beating me to pulp in a very stereotypical Latin fashion. I like the feeling of been in love, it is like a drug, but falling in and out of love is not something I can control, or even try to control. If just I could!
Despite 14 years of Stern Catholic Education[sup]TM[/sup] by the Sisters of Mercy, I still think and nothing will change my mind that sex is good, natural, healthy and that I don’t need a ring to enjoy it. That of course makes me a [introduce insult of your preference] in many people’s eyes. That’s ok in a way, I am provinding the SDMB Moral and Religion Squad with a mean to feel morally superior, if that means so much to them I am glad to serve.
Mighty_Girl,
I got it from this sentence in your OP:
**
Which is well and fine as I am sure you were simply expressing how you felt at the time. And it further appears that your feelings didn’t change over time. However, as written, it does seem to place a limit on the range of feelings that would be “allowed in” by either party. Which is what I find unrealistic. We’re not automatons with complete control of our emotions.
But as you’ve said you understand the point, no need for me to keep harping on it.
As for ‘sex without a ring,’ I’ll do you one better. After two divorces, I’m am convinced that nothing kills good sex like a ring* 
*Disclaimer: Gross overgeneralization, used as hyperbole to agree with her last point. YMMV
I didn’t say it was relevant to the subject matter. It was just bugging me.
So we’re talking about a “commercial transaction” here? Hmm, if indeed your friend did pay the ladies for their services, I wonder where he got the idea that the act of love can be reduced to an emotionless contractual exchange.
For all your moral superiority you surely lack the guts to “call the animal by its name” (introduce appropriate and relevant equivalent of this saying in English). Are you suggesting that I somewhat influenced him to do that? Because if is so you are a very fucked up person despite your so called morals.
Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound so hostile. I was sincerely trying to impress on Mighty Girl how much I think her “relationship” was a bad idea, and the fact that she ended up getting hurt being not just coincidence. It really sounded like you were comparing me to someone with rigid and arbitrary moral beliefs, like those who condemn gays. I don’t consider myself that way. I believe that people should reflect on their own morality, and consider WHY they hold certain moral beliefs, and not just condemn actions because they were told that “God says so” or because it says so in a book. And it’s something I put a lot of thought into, and I don’t think I’m a stupid person, so it’s a little upsetting when people suggest that I should have to prove something that to me is just common sense that I’ve picked up from my experience of trying to be a human being and live with (and hopefully love) other human beings on this planet.
So I guess I got carried away in my response. I’m really sorry if I upset you. My friends and I say “fuck you” all the time, and it gets tossed around a lot here in The Pit, so I probably tend to just throw that out without considering how hostile it might sound. And no, I did not purposely misunderstand you. Please accept my apologies.
Also, I thought it should go without saying that when I say a certain kind of relationship is bound to end badly, that I am expressing my opinion. Sorry if I wasn’t clear enough.
Okay we have established that these were prostitutes…
There’s all kinds of stuff that he could have done with them that wouldn’t include intercourse, like S&M, role playing, or some other freaky stuff. More than likely they did enforce the use protection being professional gals and all.
Mighty_Girl, are you assuming a stance of moral superiority over these women because they’re prostitutes? Is this also why you’re so disgusted with the man in question?
If they were prostitutes, in my view it makes the whole “I spent the night with them but nothing happened” story offered by CheaterMan exceedingly unlikely.
For those posters that were espousing it as a possibility, I believe you should look for another horse to bet on.
How exactly did you come to the conclusion of moral superiority anywhere? They could have been nuns for all I care. It was only relevant to the point of proving how I know what happened.
Even in circles where prostitution is frowned upon I have always said “whatever goes between consenting adults is only their business”. I am not judging THEM, whom I don’t know, I am judging him, who broke a promise.
I am dropping this right here. I gave vented my anger, which was what I wanted. I let go (page 3). I stood up against the idea that I am not honorable and that by being im]/b]moral I brought his unto myself. I gave the opportunity to the Moral Squad to go home and be secure in their righteousness and the warm feeling that whatever misery they live in is unfair while the bad things that happen to us im**moral godless heathens we brought on ourselves. Never mind the “Judge not that ye not be judged” that only seems to apply to the Saints and Righteous. Glad I did my bit.
Have a nice day. Feel free to condemn me in absentia. It wil do some a whole lot of good.
I understand your point of view much more now and have no real problems. In fact before this incident, I had seen you in ‘GD’ and knew you are not at all ‘someone with rigid and arbitrary moral beliefs’, but there was no possibility for you to know I knew that. shrugs
This is truthfully something I have not thought out as fully as you seem to have, so I did not know that my arguments would strike a nerve, as in general this is not a big issue for me. This doesn’t stop me from jumping in of course as a ‘defender of having sex however you want’.
I really appreciate this response (and, also thank you for not pointing out my spelling mistakes…grammar tends to go out the window when I’m upset) 
I am new to the SD, with a little more than a hundred posts. I know that I am still learning the ropes here, but I AM willing to try to learn. This can explain why I misinterpreted your post, thus starting this issue.
Screwed coding and mispellings I don’t mind so much, here I want to make a stop. I really shouldn’t use the word judge on him. For all I care he can go on his merry life. I was mad at him now I am dissapointed. The judging will be left for a higher being (maybe Cecil will smite him from above… or something )
And what I said before Lady of the Lake. Have a good day.
I’m going now…I’m really going…don’t you try and stop me…um…hello?..hello?