Colonoscopies

[Mama_Zappa]

@Senegoid

…
Do PEG and/or all those “cleanout” chemicals cause cramping or other pain or serious discomfort? That’s what scares me. The horror stories I’ve read at other on-line boards! How about we all just chug a few cans of Drano?

That’s a very good question (the one about the cramping. About Drano, I’d generally say “no”, though it would solve the problem of what to do about a ride home from the clinic ;)).

For the tablet prep, I’ve never had any worrisome cramping - just that “rumbly in the tumbly” sensation followed by a rapid clench-cheeked run-waddle. One of the issues with GoLytely, I’ve heard, is that you have to drink so fucking much that you’re going to have some cramps just from that. I haven’t heard too many horror stories about cramping, anyway.

[Mama_Zappa]

So I googled “colonoscopy prep cramping” or something like that, and ran into a mention of a product I hadn’t hear of before (Klean Prep - sounds like a variant on MoviPrep etc.) and oh, my gawd, I’m guffawing here: Dave Barry, you have a worthy successor!

Excited to take the four Dulcolax laxatives prescribed by my Doctor… I tried to add some Frank’s Redhot sauce to pretend I was eating chili but my wife stopped me. Damn her!
…
I was wrong about the chalkiness of the texture and flavor. It’s more like loosely shredded sandpaper mixed with urine.
…
Learned that the force of pre-colonoscopy bowel movement can send a 200 lbs. man soaring 10 feet into the air. … I think I just passed the lining of my stomach. And maybe a kidney.

[Senegoid]

Colonoscopies must be one of the top favorite subject for discussion on this message board!

Herewith, a review of the literature on this (and related) subjects (including a few classic off-board entries):

I had a colonoscopy on monday. ( A.R. Cane 03-01-2006 )

What to do with my colonoscopy pictures? ( KlondikeGeoff 08-06-2006 )

Help interpret my colonoscopy report ( Sycorax 11-29-2006 )

Should a colonoscopy have hurt this much? ( lisacurl 12-19-2006 )

Fleet’s Phosphosoda (TMI) ( black rabbit 01-30-2007 )
(Note: As I’ve mentioned above, I found Phospho-Soda to be totally comfortable to use. Alas, it’s fallen into disfavor and is no longer available.]

Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy ( kunilou 04-11-2007 )

What to expect for a colonoscopy? (TMI) ( Incubus 05-14-2007 )

Why is a colonoscopy being done at Camp David? ( Fear Itself 07-21-2007 )
(Note: Numerous threads at about this time, speculating on Bush’s colonoscopy. Will they find the Constitution and Bill of Rights up there? What will Acting-Pres. Cheney do during his hour in power? Trying to distinguish real news from Onion article.)

Best Laxative? ( Red Barchetta 10-19-2007 )

Rise of the Machines: Anal Probing Robot ( Tuckerfan 12-29-2007 )

Aetna’s New Colonoscopy Policy? Ouch! ( Jinx 01-05-2008 )

Colon removal as cancer prevention? ( Kinthalis 02-11-2008 )

The Picolax Thread [Apparently a classic colonoscopy thread from the Singletrack message board.]

Obligatory link to classic Dave Barry column: Dave Barry: A journey into my colon – and yours (Miami Herald, orig. publ. 02-22-2008)

Colonoscopy-Not great news ( Mint Julep 04-01-2008 )

Get a colonoscopy if you are 50 ( Lillith Fair 04-09-2008 )

Ask the guy who just had a colonsocopy ( Eutychus 05-01-2008x )

Colonoscopies & Cosmetics ( KittenKat 05-31-2008 )

Journey to the Center of My Colon… ( Shodan 07-15-2008 )

Homer Simpson’s colonoscopy ( mobo85 09-06-2008 )

Dave Barry colonoscopy journal - humorous PSA ( pinkyvee 09-28-2008 )

Clear liquid diet, one gallon of laxative, colonoscopy - TMI ( beckwall 09-30-2008 )

Making the most of a forced bowel cleanse ( What the … !!! 10-09-2008 )

To boldly Go where no Vet has gone before. Gorilla + Colonoscopy. Newslink ( Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor 11-06-2008 )

Well, the HalfLytely is kicking in… ( ivylass 11-16-2008 )

It’s Roto-Rooter time again…whine ( Clothahump 01-03-2009 )

Colonoscopy - routine or only when symptoms are present? ( Carol the Impaler 01-25-2009 )

HalfLytely vs Phospho-Soda ( crazyjoe 02-03-2009 )

Ask yesterday’s colonoscopy recipient ( Boyo Jim 04-25-2009 )

So, ever been through colonoscopy prep? ( EddyTeddyFreddy 01-13-2010 )

What’s the poop on CT Colonography? ( teela brown 03-30-2010 )

Colonoscopy Baby ( Cicero 05-09-2010 )

Your favorite colonoscopy prep regimen? (need answer fast) ( Mama Zappa 06-07-2010 )

Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy - the Sequel ( kunilou 08-20-2010 )

Tell me about your colonoscopy, especially the prep experience ( Stoid 09-12-2010 )

Whatever you do, don’t fart. TMI!! ( kambuckta 05-18-2011 )

Ooooohhh - My First Colonoscopy! ( Atomic Mama 08-07-2011 )

Ever Have A High Colonic? ( Quasimodem 08-08-2011 ) [Includes tangential discussion of colonoscopies.]

Does Miso Soup Count? ( Atomic Mama 09-07-2011 )

Going for a colonoscopy - what’s it like? ( AaronX 01-01-2012 )

Colonoscopy while conscious: what’s the discomfort? ( Machine Elf 01-04-2012 )

Colonoscopy advice ( Ibanez 02-18-2012 )

Having a colonoscopy ( Surly Chick 04-29-2012 )

[TMI] Had that colonoscopy 2 weeks ago, and now my ejaculate volume is way down. Normal? ( John DiFool 05-09-2012 )

How soon does Dulcolax work? Requesting TMI pre-colonoscopy. ( Napier 08-27-2012 )

Need colonoscopy jokes!! ( Mama Zappa 10-25-2012 )

What would happen if… ( CheeseDonkey 11-17-2012 ) [Mixing laxatives and anti-diarrheal meds, with side-discussion of colonoscopy prep.]

Tell me about your colonoscopy ( tdn 03-12-2013 )

colon cancer and colonoscopies ( Machine Elf 04-27-2013 )

Colonoscopies ( john b. 05/23/2013 )

[Surreal]

Here’s a great article from the New York Times explaining how colonoscopies are a big scam:

The $2.7 Trillion Medical Bill (Published 2013)

[Ferret_Herder]

@Surreal

Here’s a great article from the New York Times explaining how colonoscopies are a big scam:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/health/colonoscopies-explain-why-us-leads-the-world-in-health-expenditures.html?hp&_r=3&

That just says they’re expensive, not that they’re pointless. You mean they’re a ripoff, rather than a “scam” per se.

[CookingWithGas]

@Ferret_Herder

That just says they’re expensive, not that they’re pointless. You mean they’re a ripoff, rather than a “scam” per se.

The article discusses the reasons it is so expensive, which include padding the price with “facility fees” and anestheseologist services. Those services are actually provided but are unnecessary. If a mechanic did the same thing you might call it a scam. And the pricing in the U.S. has no rhyme or reason, just seems to be what the market will bear. Although the U.S. is big on free markets, we find this distasteful and exploitative for medical care. It also discusses the value relative to other procedures.

While several cheaper and less invasive tests to screen for colon cancer are recommended as equally effective by the federal government’s expert panel on preventive care — and are commonly used in other countries — colonoscopy has become the go-to procedure in the United States. “We’ve defaulted to by far the most expensive option, without much if any data to support it,” said Dr. H. Gilbert Welch, a professor of medicine at the Dartmouth Institute for Health Policy and Clinical Practice.

Experts agree that screening for colon cancer is crucial, and a colonoscopy is intuitively appealing because it looks directly at the entire colon and doctors can remove potentially precancerous lesions that might not yet be prone to bleeding. But studies have not clearly shown that a colonoscopy prevents colon cancer or death better than the other screening methods. Indeed, some recent papers suggest that it does not, in part because early lesions may be hard to see in some parts of the colon.

If a doctor recommends a procedure that you don’t really need, is that a “ripoff,” or is it a “scam”? And what’s the difference anyway? (And what do you mean by “per se” in that sentence?)

Still, a colonscopy effectively does what it’s supposed to do. It’s not snake oil. I’ve had two and I’ll have them again.

[Mama_Zappa]

As a funny aside: I just logged into my health insurance website to check on a question, and saw a wellness message from 2 months ago.

Topic was “cancer screening after 50” and it urged me to discuss options with my provider.

I guess the robo-emailer wasn’t tuned into the fact that they’d already paid for three such procedures :p.