My first colonoscopy is coming up… woo… what to expect?

[Senegoid]

@Senegoid

We’ve had umpteen prior colonoscopy threads, this being everyone’s favorite topic on these boards. Once upon a time, I compiled a post with a compendium of links to them all. I’ll post it again if I can find it.

Okay, here’s a version of it, not necessarily up-to-date, from seven years ago. No guarantee which of these links are still alive:

@Senegoid

Everything you ever wanted your fellow Dopers to tell you about colonoscopies!

Compendium of past threads on the subject:

I had a colonoscopy on monday. ( A.R. Cane 03-01-2006 )

What to do with my colonoscopy pictures? ( KlondikeGeoff 08-06-2006 )

Help interpret my colonoscopy report ( Sycorax 11-29-2006 )

Should a colonoscopy have hurt this much? ( lisacurl 12-19-2006 )

Fleet’s Phosphosoda (TMI) ( black rabbit 01-30-2007 )
(Note: As I’ve mentioned above, I found Phospho-Soda to be totally comfortable to use. Alas, it’s fallen into disfavor and is no longer available.)

Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy ( kunilou 04-11-2007 )

What to expect for a colonoscopy? (TMI) ( Incubus 05-14-2007 )

Why is a colonoscopy being done at Camp David? ( Fear Itself 07-21-2007 )
(Note: Numerous threads at about this time speculating on Bush’s colonoscopy. Will they find the Constitution and Bill of Rights up there? What will Acting-Pres. Cheney do during his hour in power? Trying to distinguish real news from Onion article.)

Best Laxative? ( Red Barchetta 10-19-2007 )

Rise of the Machines: Anal Probing Robot ( Tuckerfan 12-29-2007 )

Aetna’s New Colonoscopy Policy? Ouch! ( Jinx 01-05-2008 )

Colon removal as cancer prevention? ( Kinthalis 02-11-2008 )

The Picolax Thread [Apparently a classic colonoscopy thread from the Singletrack message board.]

Obligatory link to classic Dave Barry column: Dave Barry: A journey into my colon – and yours (Miami Herald, orig. publ. 02-22-2008)

Colonoscopy-Not great news ( Mint Julep 04-01-2008 )

Get a colonoscopy if you are 50 ( Lillith Fair 04-09-2008 )

Ask the guy who just had a colonsocopy ( Eutychus 05-01-2008x )

Colonoscopies & Cosmetics ( KittenKat 05-31-2008 )

Journey to the Center of My Colon… ( Shodan 07-15-2008 )

Homer Simpson’s colonoscopy ( mobo85 09-06-2008 )

Dave Barry colonoscopy journal - humorous PSA ( pinkyvee 09-28-2008 )

Clear liquid diet, one gallon of laxative, colonoscopy - TMI ( beckwall 09-30-2008 )

Making the most of a forced bowel cleanse ( What the … !!! 10-09-2008 )

To boldly Go where no Vet has gone before. Gorilla + Colonoscopy. Newslink ( Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor 11-06-2008 )

Well, the HalfLytely is kicking in… ( ivylass 11-16-2008 )

It’s Roto-Rooter time again…whine ( Clothahump 01-03-2009 )

Colonoscopy - routine or only when symptoms are present? ( Carol the Impaler 01-25-2009 )

HalfLytely vs Phospho-Soda ( crazyjoe 02-03-2009 )

Ask yesterday’s colonoscopy recipient ( Boyo Jim 04-25-2009 )

So, ever been through colonoscopy prep? ( EddyTeddyFreddy 01-13-2010 )

What’s the poop on CT Colonography? ( teela brown 03-30-2010 )

Colonoscopy Baby ( Cicero 05-09-2010 )

Your favorite colonoscopy prep regimen? (need answer fast) ( Mama Zappa 06-07-2010 )

Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy - the Sequel ( kunilou 08-20-2010 )

Tell me about your colonoscopy, especially the prep experience ( Stoid 09-12-2010 )

Whatever you do, don’t fart. TMI!! ( kambuckta 05-18-2011 )

Ooooohhh - My First Colonoscopy! ( Atomic Mama 08-07-2011 )

Ever Have A High Colonic? ( Quasimodem 08-08-2011 ) [Includes tangential discussion of colonoscopies.]

Does Miso Soup Count? ( Atomic Mama 09-07-2011 )

Going for a colonoscopy - what’s it like? ( AaronX 01-01-2012 )

Colonoscopy while conscious: what’s the discomfort? ( Machine Elf 01-04-2012 )

Colonoscopy advice ( Ibanez 02-18-2012 )

Having a colonoscopy ( Surly Chick 04-29-2012 )

[TMI] Had that colonoscopy 2 weeks ago, and now my ejaculate volume is way down. Normal? ( John DiFool 05-09-2012 )

How soon does Dulcolax work? Requesting TMI pre-colonoscopy. ( Napier 08-27-2012 )

Need colonoscopy jokes!! ( Mama Zappa 10-25-2012 )

What would happen if… ( CheeseDonkey 11-17-2012 ) [Mixing laxatives and anti-diarrheal meds, with side-discussion of colonoscopy prep.]

Tell me about your colonoscopy ( tdn 03-12-2013 )

colon cancer and colonoscopies ( Machine Elf 04-27-2013 )

Colonoscopies ( john b. 05/23/2013 )

Good news for colonoscopy prep! ( Mama Zappa 07/09/2013 )

Colonoscopy in a week ( Ike Witt 9/30/2013 )
Another Colonoscopy Thread ( Siam Sam 12-05-2013 )
It’s been two months - time for another Colonoscopy Thread ( Mauvaise 03/25/2014 )

Welcome to 50 - here’s your colonoscopy kit ( Telemark 06/03/2014 )