24: Season 7: Episode 13 (8:00pm - 9:00pm)

Cafe Society
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FAQ Bauer (aka Thread Rules)
1) What can be discussed in plain text, unboxed?
A: Any events in episodes, once aired on the east coast – as well as any speculation based on these already-aired events.

2) What should I confine to spoiler boxes?
A: Any discussion of upcoming shows that contains information from sources outside the aired material, or any speculation based on such things. This includes the “Next week on 24” previews, which some people choose not to watch.

3) What’s the best way to get Agent Rowrrr into bed with me?
A: Easy. Just tell her, “Stay out of my bed.”

Previously on 24…

  • Juma flies to America in 15 minutes. (Okay, he was probably already here, but it’s more fun going by 24-travel-rules).

  • Jack tasers Ryan the Assistant for information. Then he tasers the phone. Neither gives him the target of the next attack, although Ryan almost does. Secret Service breaks in and stops him before he can taser anything really valuable… like the Presidential XBOX 360.

  • Agent Rowrrr follows the Random-Henchman-Who-Silences-The-Captured-Subleader back to the staging point. She reports to her boss, who tells her, “Don’t take any chances”. Agent Walker complies, performing only safe activities such as jumping onto a boat full of machine-gun-toting thugs, sneaking into the map room and taking cover by standing over a well-lit table, leaping into the water and outswimming bullets, breathing second-hand smoke, and eating trans-fats.

  • General Juma-Juma conquers the White House. Jack hides the Pres in the safe room. Juma has about 3 million hostages, but doesn’t even consider the idea of threatening random hostages to get Madame Prez to open the door. Not until John Voight, secret high-ranking shadowy figure who’s sold out his country for a shipment of… (???.. drugs…? women…? copies of the Star Wars Christmas Special…??) suggests finding the First Daughter. They do.

  • Madame Prez opens the door.

Tick-tock… Tick-tock… Tick-tock!

24, Season 7, Episode 13
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Season 7 threads:
1-2 3-4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11-12

24: Redemption thread

Season 6 threads:
1-2 3-4 5 6 7 8-9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23-24

Season 5 threads:
1-2 3-4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11-12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23-24

Season 4 threads:
1-2 3-4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23-24

Season 3 threads:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Season 2 threads:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Season 1 threads:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

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I gotta say, Quinn’s speedy arrival to Ryan’s hospital managed to be even speedier than the guy who assassinated Ike Dubaku in a hospital. He must have used an invisible chopper so he could land right behind Jack’s chopper.

I bet Ryan now wishes he didn’t quit working at Dunder Mifflin.

3

Wait, wasn’t Aaron Pierce shot in the previous episode, so bad he couldn’t go with the First Hottie and help her escape? Now he’s jumping up, dragging the Pres around, and shooting terrorists? And it’s too bad I already deleted that episode, I thought it was his gut, but apparently it is his shoulder.

So Bill is dead. Awww. “Hey Jack, I suppose I could go find out who the next mastermind is, since I managed to pull this gig together in the first place, but no, I think you’d do a better job, even though you’re supposed to be under arrest. I’m sure you’ll find a way out of your holding cell to run this baby into the ground. I mean to the ground.”

And how is it that the explosion takes out terrorists at the other end of the room, but doesn’t do anything to the hostages who are closer in?

At least we know the shipment is “weapons”. What kind remains to be seen, but apparently they are to be programmed, and take out lots of civilians, so maybe cruise missiles with neurotoxin payloads?

So let’s see, the First Daughter and the Pres had a falling out because the FD leaked confidential info about the opponent? She was booted as censure of her actions, but now it won’t reflect badly on the Pres to bring her back on board?

I like that she’s going after the Chief of Staff. “How could you let this happen on your watch?” Okay, but then what does that say about the Pres, that it happened on her watch?

So Agent Rowrr got to see Jack cry, I guess she can finally get over her self-righteousness and give him a break now.

So the Feds are watching Jack on the camera. How did they not notice when the guy inserted the loop of Jack next to the bed? Jack walked off camera, then suddenly he’s on camera again? I know he futzed with the sound, but what happened with the video? And how come the nurse’s station didn’t go wonky when he sliced the guy’s throat?

I also call BS on the heart attack guy. The smothering death took a very short time and the nurses took a long time to react.

And then there’s the whole “crawl undetected through the ceiling” bit again.

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It did look like the exact same ceiling used in a previous hour this season.

5

Merely a flesh wound.

And why were there methane cylinders (Jack said CH4, right?) in the lockdown room? Did they have gas grill set up in there in case the Pres was stuck for a while?

I agree this is just strange. It makes the First Hottie seem to be a little unstable.

Imagine how much it must add to construction costs to have like five feet of dropped ceiling on every floor! The building is probably like 25% taller than it need to be.

6

I kind of wish they hadn’t offed Juma so soon. He may have been the coolest 24 villain yet. Now it looks like 11 hours of Jon Voight. Not sure how that will go…

The writing was on the wall for Bill for a while there. I thought he was a goner last week but he managed to hang on one more hour. Too bad, though. I was really liking action-hero-with-a-cool-haircut Bill better than decent-guy-with-a-tie Bill, who was himself an improvement over bureaucratic-dickweed Bill.

If I’m not mistaken, Bill’s the first dead person this season that we knew before today. Will Chloe, Tony, Aaron and Morris all live to see 8 a.m.? Stay tuned!

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FedEx guy: So here are the methane cylinders you ordered…
White House aide: Um…just put them in that completely unremarkable non-important totally non-secret room over there.

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When did Jack fill that room with gas?

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Apparently, unseen to us, he cracked them open just before he opened the doors.

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I’ve always assumed the Chief of Staff was in on the conspiracy somehow.

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I thought so at first too, but he didn’t seem to be in the loop when the First Gentlemen situation was developing. I guess he could have been unaware that the Secret Service guys were in on the conspiracy as well. Didn’t he also have Jack sent to interrogate the Senator’s chief of staff? I guess that could be explained away as setting Jack up (though he was headed to jail anyway) if need be.

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I think he’s the token “Looks creepy, acts suspicious, but is totally innocent” guy we get most seasons.

Think of Biscuit/Peter MacNichol in a previous season.

-Joe

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And as we’ve seen before, it’s always a smart idea to tell a powerful man who you think is up to no good that you’re going to start investigating him. I’m willing put money on the First Hottie being in peril again real soon.

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She is indeed the First Hottie. Actually kind of distracts me from Freckles, The FBI Agent.

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No way, First Daughter looks kind of like a pug when she’s angry. And she seems to be angry a LOT.

-Joe

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It just occured to me that Jack screwed the pooch on that interrogation. He wasted too much time with all the “You’re really screwed now!” and “The law doesn’t apply to you, traitor!” jibber-jabber and the melodramatic necktie-removal instead of just barging into the room and barking out “Who are you working for?!? Who was General Juma’s contact on the outside?!? Answer me NOW!” The ex-senate aide would have immediately said “:eek: Oh, God, it’s YOU! Don’t hurt me! It’s Sinister Rich White Guy Jonas Hodges!” The FBI agents would have heard him say that, before the l33t ceiling-crawling paralytic-gas toting assassing could interrupt the audio; then, even if L33t Assassin Guy succeeds in offing Traitorous Ex-Senate Aide Guy, well, the FBI would have the info they needed, and the American taxpayers would owe L33t Assassin Guy a bundle for having saved them a bunch of money on all that annoying trial, appeals, and lethal injection procedure for the weaselly ex-senate aide.

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Well he wasn’t exactly expecting the l33t ceiling-crawling paralytic-gas toting assassin.

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Yes, but the central premise of 24 is that we’re running out of time! Hence all the torture, and the ticking clock at each commercial break, and the name of the show itself. In this case, it happened to be a l33t ceiling-crawling paralytic-gas toting assassin, but for all Jack knew Sinister Rich White Guy was releasing his Mutant Radioactive Computer-Controlled Hamsters upon American cities at that very moment. In the 24 universe, you can never afford to dilly-dally about this stuff.

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Everyone knows it is going to be guinea pigs, not hamsters. Do you people even watch the show?!?!?

-Joe

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Oh yes, the old “ceiling crawling paralytic gas toting assassin trick!”