Countdown to colonoscopy!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, I should have had this done a couple of years ago, but here we go. Next Thursday I go in for the scope.

I didn’t realize that I need to start modifying my diet on Monday, and that by Wednesday I’m basically living on Gatorade, broth and laxatives.

Research indicates I should basically plan on living on the toilet by that point.

Luckily I don’t really have a problem skipping meals. Luckily I can eat white bread, boiled eggs, canned salmon and vegetable soup for a couple of days.

Updates daily starting Monday. I know you can’t wait!

2

Do you have to drink the cleanser Golytely? Something like 4 liters in an hour of just absolutely vile stuff along with the laxative. You basically sit on the head and occasionally get off to fill up the glass with the liquid and by the end are gagging it down.

Whew, let’s just say I don’t understand why some folks want to go for a colonic irrigation…

The actual procedure is a piece of piss. In my case, they gave me a roofie, and I woke up with a vaguely unsettled feeling.

3

ask for a copy of the vid.

places have different diets and preps.

4

I have a few laxatives prescribed: Dulcolax tablets, and/or Pico-Salax or Purg-Odan.

They sound lovely, don’t they?

5

My doc told me I need to have one. I’m waiting until the summer, since I work in a school.

6

As ever-popular as this perennial topic is, it looks like it’s been about 6 months since the last colonoscopy thread (unless I’ve missed one). So I’ll go ahead and re-post the entire (updated!) reading list again:

I had a colonoscopy on monday. ( A.R. Cane 03-01-2006 )

What to do with my colonoscopy pictures? ( KlondikeGeoff 08-06-2006 )

Help interpret my colonoscopy report ( Sycorax 11-29-2006 )

Should a colonoscopy have hurt this much? ( lisacurl 12-19-2006 )

Fleet’s Phosphosoda (TMI) ( black rabbit 01-30-2007 )
(Note: As I’ve mentioned above, I found Phospho-Soda to be totally comfortable to use. Alas, it’s fallen into disfavor and is no longer available.)

Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy ( kunilou 04-11-2007 )

What to expect for a colonoscopy? (TMI) ( Incubus 05-14-2007 )

Why is a colonoscopy being done at Camp David? ( Fear Itself 07-21-2007 )
(Note: Numerous threads at about this time speculating on Bush’s colonoscopy. Will they find the Constitution and Bill of Rights up there? What will Acting-Pres. Cheney do during his hour in power? Trying to distinguish real news from Onion article.)

Best Laxative? ( Red Barchetta 10-19-2007 )

Rise of the Machines: Anal Probing Robot ( Tuckerfan 12-29-2007 )

Aetna’s New Colonoscopy Policy? Ouch! ( Jinx 01-05-2008 )

Colon removal as cancer prevention? ( Kinthalis 02-11-2008 )

The Picolax Thread [Apparently a classic colonoscopy thread from the Singletrack message board.]

Obligatory link to classic Dave Barry column: Dave Barry: A journey into my colon – and yours (Miami Herald, orig. publ. 02-22-2008) (ETA: Link defunct now. 01/30/2015. I’ll see if I can find it somewhere else.)

Colonoscopy-Not great news ( Mint Julep 04-01-2008 )

Get a colonoscopy if you are 50 ( Lillith Fair 04-09-2008 )

Ask the guy who just had a colonsocopy ( Eutychus 05-01-2008x )

Colonoscopies & Cosmetics ( KittenKat 05-31-2008 )

Journey to the Center of My Colon… ( Shodan 07-15-2008 )

Homer Simpson’s colonoscopy ( mobo85 09-06-2008 )

Dave Barry colonoscopy journal - humorous PSA ( pinkyvee 09-28-2008 )

Clear liquid diet, one gallon of laxative, colonoscopy - TMI ( beckwall 09-30-2008 )

Making the most of a forced bowel cleanse ( What the … !!! 10-09-2008 )

To boldly Go where no Vet has gone before. Gorilla + Colonoscopy. Newslink ( Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor 11-06-2008 )

Well, the HalfLytely is kicking in… ( ivylass 11-16-2008 )

It’s Roto-Rooter time again…whine ( Clothahump 01-03-2009 )

Colonoscopy - routine or only when symptoms are present? ( Carol the Impaler 01-25-2009 )

HalfLytely vs Phospho-Soda ( crazyjoe 02-03-2009 )

Ask yesterday’s colonoscopy recipient ( Boyo Jim 04-25-2009 )

So, ever been through colonoscopy prep? ( EddyTeddyFreddy 01-13-2010 )

What’s the poop on CT Colonography? ( teela brown 03-30-2010 )

Colonoscopy Baby ( Cicero 05-09-2010 )

Your favorite colonoscopy prep regimen? (need answer fast) ( Mama Zappa 06-07-2010 )

Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy - the Sequel ( kunilou 08-20-2010 )

Tell me about your colonoscopy, especially the prep experience ( Stoid 09-12-2010 )

Whatever you do, don’t fart. TMI!! ( kambuckta 05-18-2011 )

Ooooohhh - My First Colonoscopy! ( Atomic Mama 08-07-2011 )

Ever Have A High Colonic? ( Quasimodem 08-08-2011 ) [Includes tangential discussion of colonoscopies.]

Does Miso Soup Count? ( Atomic Mama 09-07-2011 )

Going for a colonoscopy - what’s it like? ( AaronX 01-01-2012 )

Colonoscopy while conscious: what’s the discomfort? ( Machine Elf 01-04-2012 )

Colonoscopy advice ( Ibanez 02-18-2012 )

Having a colonoscopy ( Surly Chick 04-29-2012 )

[TMI] Had that colonoscopy 2 weeks ago, and now my ejaculate volume is way down. Normal? ( John DiFool 05-09-2012 )

How soon does Dulcolax work? Requesting TMI pre-colonoscopy. ( Napier 08-27-2012 )

Need colonoscopy jokes!! ( Mama Zappa 10-25-2012 )

What would happen if… ( CheeseDonkey 11-17-2012 ) [Mixing laxatives and anti-diarrheal meds, with side-discussion of colonoscopy prep.]

Tell me about your colonoscopy ( tdn 03-12-2013 )

colon cancer and colonoscopies ( Machine Elf 04-27-2013 )

Colonoscopies ( john b. 05/23/2013 )

Good news for colonoscopy prep! ( Mama Zappa 07/09/2013 )

Colonoscopy in a week ( Ike Witt 9/30/2013 )
Another Colonoscopy Thread ( Siam Sam 12-05-2013 )
It’s been two months - time for another Colonoscopy Thread ( Mauvaise 03/25/2014 )

Welcome to 50 - here’s your colonoscopy kit ( Telemark 06/03/2014 )

Countdown to colonoscopy! ( Leaffan 01/30/2015 )

7

HOLY SHIT!

I…had …no …idea.

8

(Missed 2nd edit window above.)

Here’s a current link to Dave Barry’s classic column.

Dave Barry: A journey into my colon – and yours, Dave Barry, Miami Herald, orig. pub. Feb. 22, 2008.

9

The above OP contains a link to another Dave Barry article that also seems to be obsolete, but here are a few other living links that appear to be copies of the same:

http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?121786-colonoscopy-Dave-Barry
http://www.irv2.com/forums/f34/my-colonoscopy-journal-very-funny-106787.html
http://www.oldpremeds.org/fusionbb/showtopic.php?tid/41418/

10

Biggest piece of advice I can give, after you take the laxative if you need to do ANYTHING butt related do it on the toilet. (I don’t know who told me that but it saved me a huge embarrassment. I felt like I had to break wind but thought better of it and went on the toilet to do it. Yeah, it wasn’t flatulence.)

Oh the 2 worst parts are of course the prep before the colonoscopy and the damn bill afterwards. (What do you mean it’s not a screen, it’s medical so I have to pay? Oh and damn does the anesthesiologist charge a lot.)

11

It’ll be fine. I was anxious because I’d never had any procedure before, and now I have no concerns about the next one. Hold your nose if you don’t like the taste of the prep. Get some wet wipes. I asked for twilight rather than knock-out anesthesia and it was very cool to watch it all on the screen.

12

My advice is that you take to heart and follow the advice you are given when you are released. They will tell you to not do much, lay low, take it easy for a day or more. You should take that advice even if you feel perfectly fine and well. My Mr did not. He felt well, doesn’t like lying about not doing anything if he feels well, etc. So, of course, he was up and about and doing things around the house. Not hard or difficult things, just the normal bending, a little light lifting, etc. Things any of us would do without a second thought! He paid for it over the next 48hrs though. Something he could have avoided had he followed their advice I suspect.

Good Luck!

13

I’m going to go the Cologuard route next time. It’s brand-new. It’s a simple at-home poop test that looks for the DNA present when you have polyps. No drinking that gaggy prep stuff and no taking two days off and looking for a ride.

14

In which way did he pay for it? I have an office job and meetings to attend the day after. Should I not attend those meetings?

15

No charge for me in Canada. :smiley:

16

My fool ex-husband asked to be given no drugs, since he didn’t have someone to give him a ride home after the procedure (he didn’t ask me). He got no more than a minute or two into it, and that was it…done.

The next time, which was just last week, I drove him there, waited, and drove him home afterward. Good drugs, no memory and no pain.

My advice? Get some magazines for the bathroom. You’ll be living in there. :smiley:

17

Vaseline - use on the toilet paper after every BM/flood. I’m glad you’re getting it… First one I had,BINGO,stage 4 colon cancer… I’m doing well,thank you, 6 years after all the drama.

18

start re-hydrating yourself after it is done. you’ll be good.

19

Picked up the meds today. Normal eating for today and tomorrow, but restrictions start Monday.

Thank God for wings and beer for the Superbowl tomorrow!

20

Leaffan, if you want to hear about my unfortunate colonoscopy of a couple years back, lemme know. Bur if you’re not the one asking, I’m not going to tarnish your thread with it.

If it matters, I still think colonoscopies are important to do.