The "Ask the..." Anthology

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay…
I was bored, all right?

And you know what happens when I get bored. I get…listy. As in, I want to keep my mind active so I make lists and put things in order. Almost OCDish in extremity, as I’m sure you’ll find with this one.
Being bored, I decided to put all of the “Ask the” threads in one place becasue, well, I’ve seen more than one thread asking about them. And a great many complaints on how “they can’t be searched”.
Also, they are all in different forums…

So…

Rather than going all over and spending a whole day trying to put the threads in order Alphabetically and then finding where they begin, and THEN doing it in all the forums you wish to browse them in…I have assembled all of them in one topic.
Now…this isn’t ALL of them…I didn’t include any “Ask the” threads that had less than 18 replies. All threads have at least 19 (or more, or way way way more) replies (so you know you’re not wasting your time clicking any of them just to see a thread with 2 or so posts). So the list here is about 50 or so LESS than how many there really are. But other than those 50, they are all here. From every forum.

They are combined from IMHO, CS, GD, and this forum. The ones in the Pit were all vents and rants rather than actual “Ask the” threads.

This took a whole day to do, by the way, but again…I was bored.
So do which this thread what you wish. Save the URL so you can have it later if you need, spend hours reading past “Ask the” threads…or even just ignore it.

But it’s there for those who need or want it.

Age/Time Specific

Ask the Other Teenager*
Ask the 50’s Dad
Ask the 50’s Mom
Ask the American Teen*
Ask the Australian Teenage Guy…
Ask the Canadian Teenager…*
Ask the five year old child Ask the male teenager*
Ask the nomadic Mormon teenager
Ask the other teenage guy!*
Ask the Teenager!*

Jokes, Parodies and "Teh funny"

Ask Hulk
Ask a Moron!
Ask that Hindenburg Annoucer Guy
Ask the ‘time traveler from the future’*
Ask the Apathetic Guy.
Ask the Average Guy!
Ask the Cat
Ask the Chronic Procrastinator
Ask the Dalek
Ask the Dead Chipmunk
aSK THE DRUNK GUY!*
Ask the emu!
Ask the Evil Overlord*
Ask the Evil SuperVillian*
Ask the evil villian who is about to kill you once and for all!*
Ask the Felcher
Ask the guy who claims he’s 4000+ years old
Ask the guy who doesn’t have any answers!
Ask the Guy Who Doesn’t Like to Answer Questions
Ask the Guy who has become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds
Ask the guy who just lost a bet to the devil!
Ask the guy who just saw Goblet of Fire
Ask the guy who knows very little about Puff Daddy
Ask the guy who misunderstands followup posts
Ask the guy who say TROY!
Ask the guy who will reply in image
Ask the Guy Who Won’t Reply to Any Questions
Ask the guy who’s got a lot of time on his hands and enjoys talking about himself
Ask the hamsterette!
Ask the hung-over, department-store Santa
Ask the kid who doesn’t know much of anything
Ask the King of Awsomeness!
Ask the PMSing Woman
Ask the person who has seen Mel Gibson’s THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST (spoilers likely)
Ask the polydimensionally motile intergalactic alien.
Ask the Psychic
Ask the Putz!
Ask the Raving Lunatic
Ask the Supreme Leader
Ask the Time Traveler*
Ask the Toaster!
Ask…YOUR MOM!

Member Specific
Ask Miss Nym
Ask Qadrop’s Kid!
Ask SPOOFE!
Ask Superdude!
Ask the Governor
Ask Torgo!
b]Misc**

Ask A Short Fused Pyromaniac With Issues Gal!
Ask the AI
Ask the bandwagon-hopping #3 chick
Ask the former stripper/current housewife( and mother)/raving bitch.
ask the guy taking a third sick day on a monday with a bag of frozen peas between his legs
Ask the guy who’s downloaded at the Retrosheet baseball data into a database.
Ask the magic 8 ball*
Ask the Magic 8 Ball*
Ask the Magic Crystal Ball!
Ask the straight, white, married, employed guy
Ask the white, male, upper middle class, somewhat conservative, taxpayer

Nationality, Race, Religion, or Location Specific

Ask the (atheist) Hindu
Ask the Aid Worker in Iraq
Ask the Alaskian Guy…
Ask the American ExPat™ who lives in Brazil
Ask the Arab Guy
Ask the Asocial Korean Teenager Living in Guatemala…
Ask the Baha’i Woman
Ask the Black Guy*
Ask the Black Guy*
Ask the BLACK WOMAN!!! nothing is too ignorant…i hope…
Ask the Brit bloke*
Ask a Catholic*
Ask the Catholic Guy
Ask the Canadian, eh?
Ask the chick from/living in Missouri!
Ask Eritrean Guy
Ask the Ex-Pat (a Yank living in South Africa)
Ask the fairly average British bloke*
Ask the Guy From Montana
Ask the Guy in Mosul, Iraq
Ask the Guy in Saudi Arabia
Ask the guy in Tbilisi, Georgia
Ask the Hindu/Indian Guy*
Ask the Hindu*
Ask the Iraqi Information Minister
Ask the Irish Bloke*
Ask the Irish Guy?*
Ask the Islamic Guys
Ask the Isreali Guy.
Ask the Jewish settler
Ask the Kiwi bloke
Ask the Melungeon!
Ask a Methodist!
Ask the Mexican Guy!
Ask the Mormon*
Ask the Mormon Gal!
Ask a muslim*
Ask a muslim man
Ask a non-practicing Catholic
Ask the Northern Irish Person
Ask the Orthodox Christian
Ask the person from a small town in Southeast Kansas!
Ask the Pseudo-Norwegian Chick
Ask the Shi`a Nizari Ismaili Muslim Woman
Ask the Singaporean guy!
Ask the Swedish-born Egyptian guy living in California
Ask the Swedish Chick!
Ask the Turk
Ask the WI guy!
Askin’ the Alaskan*
Opinions and Thoughts

Ask the Anarcho Capitalist
Ask the atheist, 15 year old, male Hoosier.*
Ask the Atheist*
Ask the Atheist Guy*
Ask the atheists
Ask the Commie Bastard!
Ask the Conservative Christian Theologian!
Ask the Conservative Evangelical Christian Hopeful Universalist
Ask the Crazy Chick Who Believes in the Mythos
Ask the Creationist
Ask the female Pagan college student…
Ask the former John Bircher…
Ask the Gora Sikah
Ask the Grammar Harpy
Ask the guy raised in an Orgone-energy-believing household
Ask the Guy with the Greatest Lawn Care Advice Anywhere! Got issues? Check in here!
ask the guy who wants to help you listen to better music
Ask the Guys who are in Love with Techchick
Ask the Horsewoman
Ask the Libertarian*
Ask the Libertarian Objectivist Christian
Ask the Neo-Con!
Ask the Neo-Pagan Guy
Ask the Nihilistic Anarchist with unpopular ideas about the world
Ask the person who knows a lot about Irish traditional music.
Ask the Practical Libertarian
Ask the quiet gal!
Ask the surrealist!

2

Sexual Preference/Gender Based

Ask a black gay guy!
Ask “The Straight Eye for the Gay Guy”
Ask Bi Guy, (or ‘Cheffie takes one more step out of the closet’)*
Ask the bisexual male teenager*
Ask the child raised by two gay men
Ask the closeted bisexual guy!
Ask the Gay Guy’s Housemates
Ask the Bi Guy; and, The Great Bisexual FAQ (Part 1)*
Ask the Gay KID
Ask the Lesbian!
Ask the Not A Guy
Ask the straight guy*
Ask the “straight” guy*
Ask the Transgendered Person

Talents. Hobbies, and Groups

Ask the (returned) Peace Corps Volunteer
Ask the (sort of) Linguist Guy
Ask the Americorps member
Ask the bloke who’s forgotten more about cricket than you’ll ever know
Ask the British History Geek
Ask the BDSM Guy
Ask the Chief Resident
Ask the DDR Player
Ask the Disney Freak!
Ask the E3 Guy
Ask the Geography Maven
Ask the guy who’s just read Lord of the Rings
Ask the guy who knows way too much about Futurama
Ask the hockey guy
Ask the nudist
Ask the paintball player
Ask the Recumbent Bike Rider
Ask the SAHM. Please. I need to talk to grown ups.
Ask the Soft Paws User (Kitty-Related Thread)
Ask the Straight Dope Frat Boy! ™
Ask the Terrible Advice Fairy
Ask the Unitarian Universalist*
Ask the Unitarian Universalist (aka the liberal wacko)*
The Things That Make Us Different (but not any less of a great person!)

Ask the Aspie
Ask the autistic person
Ask the chick with dreadlocks
Ask the Color Blind Dude…*
Ask the Deaf Person
Ask the Diabetic (possible TMI)
Ask the drunk guy
Ask the girl with bipolar disorder
Ask the fat guy!
Ask the guy on dialysis
Ask the guy who doesn’t make blood!
Ask the guy who’s severely color-blind*
Ask the guy with a really small dick
Ask the Highly Sensitive Person
Ask the learning disabled student.
Ask the man with one testicle
Ask the Paralyzed Guy
Ask the Poor Girl
Ask the right handed guy
Ask the Twin

Threads in a Series/Has Sequels

Ask the comic book guy
Ask the comic book guy 2
Ask an Elf on Summer Vacation
Ask an Elf Just Back on the Job
Ask the Muslim Guy*
Ask the Muslim Guy, Part Deux
Ask Michael Ellis (Parte Dos)
Ask Michael Ellis
Ask the teenager!*
Ask the Teenager II !
Ask the Gay Guy!
Ask the Gay Guy II!
Ask the Gay Guy III!
Ask the Gay Guy IV!

True Stories, Stunning Feats, and Impressive Achievements

Ask a transplant recipient
Ask the (soon-to-be) Bone Marrow Doner*
Ask the about-to-be-married chick or ACK only a few hours left of my singlehood
Ask the almost journalist who wants to ask the journalist
Ask the Bariatric (weight loss) surgery Guy.
Ask the Bone Marrow Courier*
Ask the Celebrity Bartender
Ask The Columbia Shuttle Recovery Guy
Ask the convicted felon
Ask the dopers who have gone through fertility treatments.
Ask the Drug Addict
Ask the Former Lurker!
Ask the former state Class A chess champion
Ask the gal who just had Bariatric Lap Band installation
Ask the Gastric Bypass Patient Who Tried Everyting Else Before Resorting to Surgery
Ask the Graveyard Shift Worker!
Ask the guy…with a hundred boomerangs
Ask the guy in the Jeopardy! UToC
Ask the guy on steriods
Ask The Guy who just had an Emergency Appendectomy!
Ask the guy who just had LASIK surgery*
Ask the guy who used to frequent hookers!
Ask the Guy Who Was Banned for an Hour!
Ask the hetrosexual virgin!
Ask the lucid dreamer
Ask the Ohio provisional voter!
Ask the psychotropic drug guy?
Ask the rape survivor
Ask the Recreational Drug User!
Ask the single-sex high school girl!
Ask the Undertaker’s Daughter!
Ask the Unemployment guy

Work Specific

Cultural, Enviormental and Literature

Ask the Artist!
Ask the Children’s Book Editor
Ask the Environmental Psychologist…
Ask the guy who just finished writing a book.

Customer Relations, Service, and Dealing with People

Ask the (big chain) Video Store Clerk
Ask The Barista… (Coffee girl, to you)
Ask the Bartender!
Ask the Bookseller
Ask a Bra Professional…
Ask the Cab Driver
Ask the Direct Marketing (Call Center, Telemarketing, Junk Mail) Professional!
Ask the ex phone sex operator
Ask the fast food manager!
Ask the Former Phone Psychic
Ask the person who works in the adult industry thread.
Ask the Pest Control Guy!*
Ask the Server
Ask the Sunglass Consultant!
Ask the Termite and Pest Control Guy, Part II*
Ask the Theme Park Character
Ask the Underwear Sales Girl!
Ask/Talk To the Hotel Night Clerk
Ask a waiter!
Ask the waitress!

Entertainment/Media

Ask the (not quite) starving Opera Singer!
Ask the (word) puzzle editor!
Ask the aging rock star
Ask the ballerina!
Ask the former news reporter!
Ask the pornographer
Ask the Pro-Wrestler
Ask the Professional Belly Dancer
Ask the Radio Host
Ask the technical theatre guy
Ask the TV News Guy

Law enforcement/Military

Ask a former prison guard.
Ask the 911 Dispatcher
Ask the Air Force Guy, again
Ask the cop
Ask the Debt Collector (Ouch, stop hitting me!)*
Ask the Draft Board member
Ask the firefighter!
Ask the Internet Abuse/Fraud Investigator
Ask the lawyer about tort reform laws
Ask the maximum security prison physician
Ask the Militia Guy!
Ask the murder trial juror!
Ask the Private Investigator
Ask the reformed debt collector*
Ask the tax lawyer!
Ask the U. S. Air Force guy!*

Medical

Ask the doctor with first-hand SARS experience
Ask the emergency vet tech
Ask the Guy who makes Adult Spaces FUN!
Ask the Medical Billing Specialist
Ask the Medical Student!
Ask the Optician…

Music based

Ask a Drummer. aka Ask a semi-successful musician.

Product/Office/Software/Construction

Ask the Copy Editor!
Ask the Graphic Designer
Ask The Product Standards and ISO Guy
Ask a Software Engineer/Developer
Ask the Structional Engineer!
Relationships/Dealing with people

Ask Dr aha, sex therapist

School based/Scientific

Ask the (student) Vet
Ask the Anime Student
Ask the Biologist!
Ask the Bored Virologist!
Ask the Culinary School Student!
Ask the exhausted grad student

Transportation

Ask the Airline Pilot who just switched from Passengers to Cargo
Ask the guy who works on an oil rig
Ask the small airplane pilot

Ask the ______ Threads You’d Like to See
*Denotes two or more topics/variations were made by different members.

3

It’s all too much to comprehend – if you ask me. . .

4

Great thread Idle Thoughts.
Now I can waste even more time on SDMB. :wink:
Thank you
Jim

5

Oops. Sorry. :o

6

Wow, this is actually really cool! Thanks for compiling all of this. I’m going to have to see if there’s an “Ask the ________” I can do that hasn’t already been done…

7

Thanks IT! This thread is sticky-worthy, IMHO.

8

FYI, you can access all the ‘Ask the’ threads by viewing MPSIMS in ABC order and then going to page 144- here, I’ll link to it- and there they are in ABC order.

But great job Idle. I found while perusing them, as I did, that most weren’t serious or worth reading, but maybe your lists will make me reevaluate that. :smiley:

And BTW, I’ll link to a little-known one, here, which ended up being the only one that I bookmarked. It was just kind of sad and surprising in a memorable way.

9

Cue much applause!

10

Yeah, I wagered that in. That’s why I didn’t include any with less than 18 posts. I figure that it wouldn’t really have been that serious or major.

And that’s a good link yourself…I just took it one step further. :slight_smile: Since “Ask the…” threads appear in CS, GD, and IMHO also, I just combined them.

And man, looking for the page in each of those forums where they started…THAT was fun, let me tell you.

11

Wow. Just… wow.

Nice work. They should send you a coffee mug or a book or something for that.

12

Can you do the rest of the threads like that too? Just pick the important ones if you want and organize them any way you see fit. You can wait until you are bored again.

13

I second the vote to make this thread a sticky. It could go up there next to the reference thread.

14

Holy crap! How did you manage to search for all of those?

15

You know what?

I actually considered this a couple days ago (about when I thought I’d do this one)…making a SDMB Anthology type thing.

If I can do all of that in one day and have the patience, just imagine what I can/will do if I work on something for awhile.

I was thinking of starting to make a thread (that I wouldn’t post until all finished, of cousre) with MANY MANY MANY topics. All in categories and that have things in common. Among them would be all the threads in a series, all the best ones, most memorable ones, the game threads that have many parts, the past contests and trade offs we’ve had, and give a History of the SDMB via topics. Kinda like an “I Love the SDMB!” That VH1 was doing with the various years (“I love the 80s”, “I love 90s”, etc)

It would go year by year from the beginning and include topics, controveries, stories, marriages, births, death memoriums, links to the origin of every SDMB phrase you can think think of (I burning your dog, OG SMASH, When come back, bring pie), moments, all sorts of things.
Of course, it would be a VERY VERY VERY large OP, of course, and would take months and months to furnish. But I have no doubt I could do it.

Thing is, I don’t know if it’d be allowed or not. The mods and admins may frown on it…or just limit it to “good times/things” and not dredge up the past like the Melin, TubaDiva, Phadarus, december, satan, troll wars, Left Behind, JDT, all sort of other controversies that have gone on.

shrug
Another thread, though, that I am planning to do in a couple days is a 101 Top SDMB threads of all time topic, where people would link to threads they think are among the best ever on here. Topics like “Sex with sheep is fun” “Ewe Sluts” “The Horror of Blimps” “Pan Fried Semen” “Who are you?” and all other topics that were really memorable.

16

Thank you! Very cool!

(And Yippee! My “Ask the —” thread made the cut!)

17

I put the threads in alphabetical order in each forum, found where the “Ask the” threads began, and started to link.

18

Brilliant thread. Good work, Idle!

19

This is way cool Idle Thoughts, how would you feel about dropping by and going through the clutter in my basement?

:wink:

Oh, and in the Tooting My Own Horn Dept., this thread wasn’t technically an “Ask the…” thread, but it became one.

20

Sorry, if he needs something else to do, I’ve already got a few things lined up for him.

:wink: